Relational Discipleship – Part Three: Where Do We Go From Here?

Before we dive into the practical strategies, let’s take a quick look back at where we’ve been.

In Part One, we explored why relational discipleship matters—especially in our current post-Christian culture. We defined it as the intentional cultivation of trust and authentic relationships rooted in love for God and people. We also looked at the example of Jesus, who consistently met people where they were, listened deeply, and led with compassion. Discipleship, we learned, begins long before someone enters a church door—it begins at the kitchen table, the coffee shop, the breakroom, and on the sidelines of life.

In Part Two, we faced the hard realities of why evangelism feels more difficult today. We acknowledged the widespread distrust of the institutional church, a growing cultural relativism that demands dialogue instead of dogma, and the deep need for patience in a world that values instant results. Rather than seeing these as insurmountable barriers, we reframed them as opportunities to practice a more Christlike, relational, and patient form of evangelism.

Now in Part Three, we’ll focus on how to move forward with intentionality, grace, and a plan for everyday disciple-making that works—right where you are.

Relational discipleship isn’t about church growth—it’s about Kingdom growth.

The Power of One Relational Church

Consider the impact your church could have in your community if just twenty percent of your congregation practiced relational discipleship. What about fifty percent? Imagine the transformation if every person in your church viewed themselves as a missionary in their neighborhood, workplace, or circle of influence.

Relational discipleship is not complicated. It starts with small, intentional acts: inviting someone for coffee, listening to a neighbor’s story, or sharing a meal with a coworker. The cumulative effect of these efforts can reshape a community.

Motive and Intentionality Matter

Our motive must always align with our mission: to make disciples of Jesus Christ, not to increase attendance or raise the weekly offering. Relational discipleship isn’t about church growth—it’s about Kingdom growth.

It requires long-haul faithfulness. We must be willing to create and nurture genuine relationships out of our love for God and for people. This means:

• Being intentional in our everyday relationships—with friends, neighbors, coworkers, and even service providers.

• Investing in training—effective relational discipleship rarely happens by accident. People need guidance, support, and modeling.

• Praying and monitoring our engagement—ask yourself: Who am I building bridges with? What kind of conversations am I initiating? Am I truly hoping for their spiritual good?

Celebrate Spiritual Steps, No Matter How Small

We must remember that discipleship is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate incremental spiritual steps—not just conversion moments, but signs of curiosity, openness, and deeper trust. Share testimonies within your congregation that highlight these relational wins. As confidence grows, so does boldness.

Five Simple Ways to Foster New Relationships

If you’re wondering where to begin, here are five easy starting points for cultivating new connections with those who may be unchurched or spiritually searching:

1. Host a monthly “Bring a Neighbor” meal—invite a few church friends and each bring one unchurched friend for dinner or dessert. Dinner church is a great way to foster new connections within the community.

2. Join a community group or volunteer locally—library boards, coaching little league, city clean-up teams.

3. Be a regular—frequent the same coffee shop, gas station, or grocery store, and intentionally build rapport with staff and patrons. Get to know people’s name. I always think of the show Cheers and the late George Wendt who played Norm – “Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you came…”

4. Offer to pray—when someone shares a struggle, don’t just say “I’ll pray for you.” Ask, “Can I pray for you right now?”

5. Create space for conversations—instead of rushing out after Sunday service, linger with newcomers. Host discussion groups on parenting, grief, or purpose in life.

Special Offer: Free Discipleship Builder Course for 3 Churches

To help your church take the next step, I’m offering a free online course using the Discipleship Builder resource for the first three churches that sign up. All sessions are conducted via Zoom.

Here’s what’s included:

• 8 weekly one-hour sessions

• Led live by me

• Based on my course: Discipleship Builder

• No cost for the course—just cover the cost of the books ($6.99 each)

• Open to churches with at least one pastor/leader and three or more participants committed to attending all sessions

If your church is ready to embrace relational discipleship in a practical, impactful way, this is a great opportunity to get started.

Interested? Visit smallchurchcoaching.com and use the contact form to request your spot.

Final Thoughts

Relational discipleship works. It’s biblical. It’s needed. And it’s possible for every church—no matter the size. Jesus started with twelve. What if your church started with four?

I’d love to walk with you on this journey.

• Subscribe to smallchurchcoaching.com for more tools and resources.

• Join our Facebook group: Leadership Edge for Smaller Churches

• Follow on Facebook and X @ItsTimeSam

Let’s equip everyday Christians to become everyday disciple-makers.